Most of us have found ourselves in a challenging situation for which there doesn’t seem to be a clear answer or solution. Stressful, difficult life circumstances can sometimes leave us feeling stuck with no way out, no clear direction for where to go or what to do, and powerless to the problem. When we feel powerless to our circumstances, it can be really difficult to pull ourselves out of the spiral of negativity and helplessness.
But here’s the good news: there are almost no situations in life that leave us utterly powerless. Let’s say that again: in almost every situation life throws your way, you can find something that’s within your control and your power. That’s right. Even when you feel absolutely powerless, there will be something that you can influence and change. It might be something seemingly small or insignificant, but that’s still autonomy. We all have it within us to make effective change and to improve our circumstances.
So how can we do this? Well, first we need to start with our past.
The first step in the problem solving process should be to assess what skills and resources you already have at your disposal—starting with your internal resources (i.e. your resilience, your positive attitude, your ability to shift your thinking, etc.) What does this have to do with your past? It’s significant, because certainly you have dealt with difficult situations and problems in the past. You already have problem solving skills and tools to manage difficult situations. Reflecting on your past can be useful to identify previous challenges you’ve overcome, what tools and skills you employed to handle the situation, and what you did to resolve the problems. Now you’re able to decide which of these skills and tools could be used to handle the present situation.
The next step of the problem solving process is figuring out what resources you have externally (i.e. your family and friends, community resources, advocates on your behalf, outside help, etc.). It’s important to access your external resources as well, because they are just as important in supporting you through the problem solving process. Also do a reflection on what external resources you used or leaned on in the past. Who or what were you able to call on for help and guidance? Then, you can decide which of those resources can be used in your present situation.
After you’ve reflected on what you’ve done well in the past to handle or overcome challenges, figure out which of your tools and skills are going to be most helpful and beneficial in the present. It may take a bit of creativity to figure out how you can use your resources from the past in the present, but that’s also part of solving problems. Bear in mind, you may have to alter or adjust the resources to fit the circumstances you’re facing, but it’s not impossible.
Remember, even small actions like changing your mindset, scheduling in time for self-care, or getting a good amount of sleep can be part of the problem solving process. These are all resources that you can use to help you manage the difficult circumstances. You may not be able to change everything in a big picture way, but it doesn’t mean that you’re powerless or a victim to life.
Take a moment to reflect on moments in the past when you’ve successfully dealt with real problems. Think about what you did well, what worked for you, which of your resources were most effective, and then figure out how you can use the skills and the tools that you already possess to start making change and finding a solution.
Meredith Powell Counseling 